F: When I woke up this morning, I wanted to play trains. But the floor was messy, so I started to do some "a recoger". But then I heard Mommy's legs singing, so we had to play hospital.

R: Mommy's HERE!!! I'm so excited!

Note: Mommy is not here. She is still sleeping.

F: We're going to Grandma's house. Can you be Grandma? Your pipes are broken and we're going to use our tools to fix them.

F just pointed to Tom Brady on the television, yelled "monster!" pointed his pastry gun-thing at him and made laser gun sounds.

R singing is always adorable. More so when she's singing "By Lo Baby"...

R (singing): Mommy will love you all her life ... Daddy will love you all his life ... F will love you all his life ...
F: Lady Gaga will love you!

F has been complaining about R coming into his bed when he's trying to sleep. Every night. But then I heard this through their door.

F: R, come into my bed.
R: No.
F: But I want to go get Daddy and tell him you're in my bed!

7AM. Our lazy butts are still in bed. F/R crawl in with us. R gets mad that F's leg is on top of her.

M: R, F has to put his leg somewhere.
B: Should I take it off, F?
F: No! It's not detachable.
B: Do you have things that ARE detachable?
F: Yeah! R's baby's head.

F gets out of bed, brings back baby, removes head.

R: NOOOO! No detachable head!

Yes, this is the same baby she was waterboarding yesterday. Reverse Stockholm syndrome?

Today's weather forecast, from F: "Looks like spirals, tastes like wind, and is really really hot like summer."

B: Do you still like it when I call you Monkey, or should I start calling you F?
F: Sometimes you should call me Googly Eyes.
B: Sometimes?
F: Only when I do something googly and I look like eyes.

Reading bedtime story. Curious George and the Dinosaur Bones or something. It mentions a pickaxe.

F: What's a pickaxe?

B looks at page in book. There are no actual pictures of pickaxes. B takes out phone, presses voice command button.

B: Show me a picture of a pickaxe
Phone: Let's see... (amazing world we live in that it actually says this)

Phone shows a picture of pickaxe

F: Do it again!

Repeat. Many times. The phone has trouble understanding F, but I leave it with him while I make R's bedtime bottle. As I walk out of room:

F: Show me a picture of a rocket ship

I hear F and phone talking but can't make out what they're saying over the microwave sound.
When I come back into room:

Phone: That's a personal question.

F (at our bedside): I had a scary dream. There was a potato, and it was chasing me.

Walking in parking lot.

F: I'm holding R's hand extra tight so she doesn't blow away!

In car:

B: R, are you going to eat lunch when you get home?
R: Yeah!
B: And then what?
R: Play elephants!
B: Play elephants? Aren't you going to get a bottle and take a nap?
R: Yeah ... I'm happy now!

I only overheard the end of this conversation, but I think it was about cupcakes for R's birthday party.

M: Not until you're done.
F: I AM done. I'm already born!

(Thankfully rare) double wake-up. Half an hour to get them back in beds. As my head hits pillow, R is out of her room again.

R: F pooped on my monkey!
B: No he didn't. Go back to bed.

She does.
Ten min later, too much noise, I'm back in. R is out of bed. Another half hour to settle her down.

F (mostly asleep): This is Howard. As far as this train goes. All passengers must now exit. Transfer to Purple Line for Evanston and Wilmette.

Unbridled optimism:
T is visiting from down the street for R's birthday. T finishes his ice cream before F.

T: I winned you!
F: That's ok. I'll win you in the NEXT bowl!
F: Daddy, give T more ice cream so I can win him.

F (seated in restaurant): The man who just came in, in the green shirt, just said he wanted coffee. [Loses it laughing] Only women are supposed to drink coffee!

M: Hey, F, why is 6 afraid of 7?
F: Because 7 is going to EAT 6!

[Much laughter]

R: 2, 6, 7, 8, 9!
M: Wow, R, you really have 6-7-8-9 down.
R: No! 6-7-8-9 UP!

Driving through Gary. F sees some steel-industry-related building.

F: That building is a rocket ship port. I know because it looks just like what one looks like in my dreams!

Driving past Sears/Willis/whatever Tower.

F: See that building with all the pointy stuff on top? I bet there was more construction on that building than any other building in the world.

Wetter and wetter... F is fishing. R is playing "swamp ball."