B: Who made you PANCAKES this morning?
F: Mummy!
B: Mommy made you pancakes?
F: No. A mummy. She had bandages all around her head. And she was dead.

B: Time to get your bedtime book!

(F and R start dashing to the bookcase)

B: F, are you going to pick the pumpkin book again?
F: No, I'm going to pick something else tonight. I like to pretend that books aren't reusable.

(F comes back with the pumpkin book)

I've been fascinated lately with closing eyes vs going to sleep. I close my eyes as part of the effort of going to sleep. R, even when she wants to go to sleep, keeps her eyes open until the very moment she falls asleep. I wonder at what age that changes. M says F is already at the "close them to go to sleep" stage. I'm sure she's right. She's M. But I'm not 100% sure.
So I asked F tonight.

B: Do you close your eyes so you'll fall asleep or do you keep them open until they close by themselves when you fall asleep?
F: I sleep with one eye open.

F: Come look at my building. It's even beautifuler than a post office!
B: What kind if building is it?
F: It's a sending station that only sends presents.

F (to Adrienne, explaining why the kitchen light was out): We blew the circus!

F has a small owie on his finger. The band aid is yellow and has giraffes on it.

F: When I picked it, I thought it would be pink with no giraffes.
B: Do you like it anyway?
F: Of course I do. I like all colors and all band aids. Because ALL kids love band aids.

F wore himself out and was very cuddly this afternoon. He's curled up on my lap.

B: Are you cuddling with me because you want to or to make me happy?
F: I want to. You're good at cuddling. So is Mommy. But you're always warm and Mommy's only warm sometimes.

Cuddling on my lap, he texted nonsense syllables to Mommy. When he was done with that:

F: Let's do something fun. That doesn't have any cuddling or any screens.
B: What do you want to do?
F: Can I cuddle on you without any screens?

F (feeding his baby toy food): Hold on, baby. I have to get you more nutrients!

Enthralled by the guys fixing the traffic light.

B: What was your favorite thing about the playground?
F: Going down the slide with you, Daddy
B: That's a really nice thing to say.
F: Yeah! I didn't think you could go down the slide. I thought it would break!

Rotten little bastard.

F: We were just trying to keep the cold out. And now we're trying to keep the heat out. I don't get it!

Completely unbidden, R crawls into my lap and gives me a hug and a kiss.

R: I love you Daddy!
B: I love you too, R!
R: I love you, Daddy! I don't have a penis!

F runs by on the playground. I notice a streak of white. M is quicker in the uptake than I.

M: You can't be naked at the playground!
F: Why not?
M: That's a good question.

Been replacing the kids' bedtime songs with ones I can play on the guitar, and that I don't hate after repetition. Like Suzanne. Which has led to:

F: I don't want a long Suzanne tonight. Can we stop right after Jesus?
R: No! No stop after Jesus! Garbage and flowers!

F: I like it better when Mommy takes me to school than when you do.
B: Why?
F: Because you get a lot more red lights!

F: I made up a song. It's a sad song. It's about a boy who falls down and bumps his head and has to go to the ER.

Good job, Mommy.
She left R bottomless pretty much all day. No accidents, but no potty visits either. Then she left me alone with the kids. R left the dinner table to pee. Successfully. In the potty. Then F went to poop, which is no big deal. R said she had to, too, and, miraculously, F let her in. She sat on potty, he on "big potty". F was very encouraging: "Come on, R, you can do it!" until she did.
After all was cleaned up and flushed:

F: Now it's going to to the shoe treatment plant!

Long car ride. F and R are looking for their favorite-color houses. It's easier for F (blue) than R (pink). (Yes, the boy's favorite color is blue & the girl's is pink. Sue me.)

M: Look, R, a pink house!
F: Can't we concentrate on getting where we're going? ... Look! A yellow house!

F is out of bed, cuddling on his mommy's lap.
B: Are you going to come over here too?
F: Cinco minutos. Then you get love.

F: I'm hungry again. I was full but my belly broke my food.

F: I have something in my head. It's not my brain. It's a conscience alarm. It's between right and wrong. So if I put garbage in the recycling, it makes a lot of noise.