F is back downstairs at 10pm.

F: I couldn't sleep because my shirt's wet. Because I keep chewing on it. Because it tastes really good. And I keep accidentally playing with my snake and kicking the wall to Daddy's office and getting in sleeping position and then nothing happens.

No, we've never actually done this, or even threatened it.

B: C'mon F, put your socks and shoes on and get ready for school!
F: I can't. I'm just too tired.
B: What would make you less tired?
F: Put some ice cream in a bowl, and show it to me, but don't let me have it. Then take it to all the places I need to go to get my shoes and coat and backpack, and I'll follow it.

Four-year-old worries:

R: Daddy, I just want you to know, that I never want to see those bowl noodles again!
B: The noodles in the bowl right in front of you?
R: No! The noodles that are shaped like bowls that go inside one another!
B: Um, shells?
R: No! Noodles!!!
B: But noodles shaped like shells?
R: I guess
B: They're actually CALLED "shells"
R: That's confusing!
B: So they taste bad to you?
R: No. But they fit inside each other, and sometimes the one that's on the inside doesn't cool down, and I burn my mouth.
B: Aha. So, they don't taste bad, but sometimes they hurt you? What about if we give them extra time to cool down?
R: I'm probably going to still be scared of them.
B: And if they've been in the fridge overnight?
R: Only if I get to stay up all night and watch them and make sure they don't heat up.

I think I've officially won parenting. F just cackled in the other room, and ran into my office to read me a Calvin and Hobbes strip.

F: Daddy, full fat milk fuels two things: your bones and your brain. But at school they want us to drink low-fat milk.
B: Full fat milk is really important for mommies and really small children. But at some point it's ok to switch.
F: I don't want to switch yet. Because I want to get even smarter.

At what age do kids stop saying "amn't?" I expect it's soon but I kind of don't want them to stop.

Toward the end of Christmas morning:

R: You guys should start cleaning up. I'm searching for my presents!

F: Daddy, you know what's funny about meat?
B: What?
F: Well, I like animals, and I think they should live, but since they're dead anyway, and I love meat so much, and, you know, they're dead already, and so, I'm just gonna eat it. Because it doesn't help the animal if it's dead on my plate and I don't eat it, does it?

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

B: Do you know what this sign means?
R: Yeah! I love you! Do you know what THIS sign means?
B: Uh, five?
R: Yeah! How'd you know?

No, it's because he doesn't want you digging holes in the yard.

R: I found a TON of candy canes in the candy cane hunt! My daddy isn't very good at hiding them good.

R had to unwind her whole roll of twine to get at what she really wanted: the tube.

R: Daddy, Oreo ice cream is the best. Do you know why?
B: Is it because it has oreos in it?
R: A little, but mostly it's because it's not as cold as other ice cream.

F: Daddy, I just sewed the world's quietest cymbals!