F&R see their friends coming to the playground. They take off at a dead run.

R: Daddy! M&A are here! I'm so happy! I'm running to them!

F: I always need a lot of fake money.
B: What for?
F: Well, if something's free, I can pay for it with fake money.

Placebo transition:

R (crying after stepping on a lego): Daddy! I don't want ANY kisses! I just want a band-aid RIGHT NOW!

The thing that got me out of bed this morning was not the kids crawling into it at first light. It was not them harassing Mommy into crawling out and sleeping on the couch. It was not the screaming fight they (F&R, not M) got into. It was the elated laughter immediately after, followed by "We're going on a CANDY hunt!"

F: Sometimes at school we have pretend emergencies. If it's a pretend tornado, we go in the hall and curl up and put our hands over our heads. Mostly, though, we walk outside. Pinguinos (F's class) goes first, then pollitos (R's class). I like that because when we get outside, I can hold R's hand for a second. She's my favorite playmate.
R: Yeah! F loves me!

It always comes back to Frog and Toad. Naptime:

R: I want you to read me the Old Dark Frog story in the dark.
B: Won't you be scared?
R: I like being scared when you're here, Daddy. You're the protect-y-est!

F: All you need is a phone, food, and water. (In that order.)

F: Daddy, why is there a GPS on your computer?
B: That's not a GPS, it's a map.
F: Daddy, why is there a map on your computer?
B: I'm going to take a trip soon. I'm going to X for work.
F: Oh. Like the crime thing?
B: !? What crime thing?
F: The thing you went to that time, where you did crime?
B: What? Oh ... do you mean jury duty? F: Yeah!

Someone's been paying more attention to the news than I thought...

F: Can we play Ruckus, except instead of needing 75 to win, can we play so that we need 270 to win?
F: Yeah!

F: The ghosts are homeless, so i'm building them a haunted house.

Grandma Char (reading from book): I am tall and green and I'm green all year round. What am I?
F: You're a tree!
GC: Yes, but what kind of tree am I?
F: A TALKING tree!

F: I came upstairs because there was a war on tv.
M: Was it Israel?
F: Yeah. I don't think they should have wars anymore. I'm going to talk to Barack Obama about it.

#ISwearToGodThisHappened

Arguing over dessert...

F: Barack Obama's the boss!
M: No. I'M the boss.
F: Barack Obama
M. Barack O-Mama
F (busting gut): Barack O-Mama!

R (drinking hot chocolate with a spoon): This is super hot!
B: Ok hot or bad hot?
R: Yummy hot!
B: Who made it?
R: My mommy!
B: Did you thank her?
R: No, I only talk to her when I want something from her and she's not giving it to me.

R: Walk the plank! Walk the plank! Daddy, this bear has walked the plank TWO times.
B: What happened when he got to the end?
R: I carried him because I am a NICE pirate.

Just walked into kitchen. Floor is strewn with band-aid wrappers. R is sticking band-aids onto fridge and reciting, "No more doctors jumping on the fridge!" Margy assures me this is fine.

R: Hey, Mommy! I have to tell you something! Uncle Michael is a super funny guy!